英语笑话带翻译短一些

1 英语笑话

英语笑话 急！求英语笑话带翻译的,三到五分钟,两个人对话的,初二水平,

1、周而复始老王在树下休息，老李走过来对他说：“嗨，为什么不去上山砍柴？” 老王说：“砍柴干什么？” 老李说：“好卖钱啊卖到钱就可以买驴，再沿家挨户卖柴挣了钱就再 买卡车，然后买木厂卖木 器，再买更多的卡车，那样就可以发大财了” 老王问：“发了财干什么？” 老李答：“发了财就可 以逍遥自在地享清福嘛” 老王说：“那你以为我现在在干什么？”1,round and roundLao wang rested under the tree,Lao li came up and said,"hey,why not go up the hill cutting wood" Pharaoh said:"cut wood stem what" Lao li said:"good money!Sold into money can buy a donkey,then along home door-to-door selling woodZheng money will buy trucks,and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware,buy more trucks,so that you can be really rich" The old king:"fortune"Lao li answer:"fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well" Pharaoh said,"that you think I doing now"2、甲鱼风波甲鱼又叫团鱼或鳖，俗称王八味鲜美，价昂贵“吃的不买，买的不吃”，实乃高级礼品，公关丑 星某乡派数人携众鳖入城进贡因其重量不同，又须按“职”分配，为免差错计，故将官 号写于纸上，贴于鳖背……至机关干部住宅楼前，天已晚不料竹篓倾覆，众甲鱼乘暮色争相逃命，乡人一片 惊呼：“赵局长”跑啦！——那个块头最大的快抓住“钱处长”——小心它咬手那墙角里黑乎乎的，莫非是“孙科长”？“李秘书”个头小，爬得快，怕是找不到了2,turtle stormTurtle and call TuanYu or turtle,monly known as the tortoiseTaste delicious,the price is expensive"Eat not to buy,buy the do not eat",solid senior ts,pr ugly starsMouXiang sent several people join the turtle into town tributeBecause of its different weights,and must according to "responsibility" distribution,in order to avoid mistakes plan,therefore,JiangGuan written in paper,stick at turtle's back。

To government cadres residential against the building,it is lateBehold,all the turtle piggy overthrown by the dusk scramble to flee for life,XiangRen a exclaimed,"zhao chief" run!The bigger the biggest- Catch "money director" - be careful it bites the handThe corner of the mariposa rushed,murphy is "Samson section chief""Secretary li"'s aller,climb quickly,afraid that I can't find it3、迟了在地铁里，一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包，便幽默地说：“老兄，你来晚了！我今天虽然领 了薪水，但我太太下手比你快 多了！”3,lateIn the subway,a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet,and humorously said:"man,you came to night!I today although took salary,but my wife lay more quickly than you!"4、情书小伙子在给女朋友的信中写到：“爱你爱得如此之深，以至愿为你赴汤蹈火星期六如不下雨，我一定来4,love letterGuy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote:"love your love so much,that would like to give you go through hellOn Saturday as it does not rain,I'll e5、无理抱怨两个人一起吃饭，只有两条鱼，一大一小一位先把大 的吃了，另一位勃然大怒”多不合适！”他抱怨说”怎 么了？”另一位问”你吃掉了那条大的，如果我是你就不 会这样做””你会怎 样呢？””我当然是先吃小的”” 那好哇，你抱怨什么，那条小鱼不是还在那里吗！”5 and irrational plainTwo people eat together,only two fish,a great and a allA first big eat,another flew into a rage"Not more suitable!" He plains"How yao" Another asked"You ate that big,if I were you,I would not do so" "How would you like" "Of course I is first eat all" "That good,you plained,the fish is still there!"6、为您保密甲：”这件事我只告诉你一人，请你千万为我保密" 乙：”放心，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密”6,for your confidentialA:"this matter I just tell you one person,you must the secret for me" B:"trust,not only I want secret for you,I will tell everybody to be secret for you"7、擦玻璃父亲走进儿子的房间，夸奖道：干得好，儿子！窗户又干净又明亮，你是用肥皂水擦的吗？儿子：没有，爸爸，我用的是锤子7,wipe glassFather entered the son's room,praise,way:well done,son!The window and clean and bright,you are using soap water wipeSon:no,dad,I am using a sledgehammer8、开学小学开学了，刚满6岁的冬冬不肯到学校上学妈妈向冬冬解释，小朋友满6岁就要去上学，一直到15岁最后冬冬终于在书桌前坐下来，满含热泪地问：等我15岁的时候，您会记得来接我吗？8,openingElementary school begins,just over 6 years old of winter winter will not e to schoolMother to dongdong explanation,children with 6 years old shall go to school,until 15 years oldLast winter winter finally before desk sat down and full of tears to ask:when I was 15,you will remember pick me up。

英语小笑话带翻译15至25字

He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan "Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother "I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket" 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are two cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman" "She is the one who sells the candy" 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk" "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一个老美看到就笑我说， "Do you know what does it mean It means All Day I Dream About Sex我整天都在想著 性， 缩写正好是 Adidas） " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快， 联想力这么丰富时，旁边的 一个老美帮我解围， 他说， 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn， 他们的招牌歌之一就是 ADIDAS, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔！ 下次就换你去取笑老美了 这些够吗？ 求你了给分吧。

英语笑话100篇+翻译

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这里的英语笑话都有译文！

A teacher said to her class:

"Who was the first man"

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man" asked the teacher, iling indulgently

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen"

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man"

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him"

有个老师问班上的学生：

“谁是第一个男人？”

“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。

“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。

小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”

这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。

“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”

“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

英语笑话短

1 Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a studentWhen the door finally opened, I felt a passionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun iling at me "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered "Perseverance is a virtue" 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。

一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”

2 Difference"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon" But the graduate students just write it down" 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。

研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”3Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long" 太久 一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。

她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。

每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”4Charge for Bread and Butter Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City When the bill arrived, there was a $150 charge for bread and butter Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal servicesSomeone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for We never ordered any legal services" Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter" The $150 was returned without delay面包和黄油费 几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。

帐单上来时，上面有15美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。

但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。

餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。” 爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”

那15美元立即就寄了回来。5 Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pillsSunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？” 英文谚语大全 cqwlzx/Article/ShowArticleArticleID=275 Each bird loves to hear himself sing 鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。

Each day brings its own bread 天无绝人之路。Each man is the architect of his own fate 命运掌握在自己手中。

Eagles catch no flies 大人物不计较小事情。Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together 鹰单飞，羊群集。

Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。Early sow, early mow 播种早的收获早。

Early start makes easy stages 早开始是成功的保证。Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聪明。

英文短笑话 最简单的 要短的 四年级

There is a family, is very rich One day, his son to go to school, mother asked her son, go out alone in our family was very rich, his son to keep in

Heart The Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to write an article about the family Son: my family is poor My mother is very poor, very poor, dad was very poor, my servant is poor, the gardener is poor, the driver is very poor, very poor。

有一户人家，很有钱。一天，儿子要去上学，妈妈叫 儿子，出去后别说咱们家很有钱，儿子牢记在

心。语文课上，老师叫同学们写一篇关于家庭的作文。 儿子写：我家很穷。我很穷，妈妈很穷，爸爸很穷，我家的仆人很穷，园丁很穷，司机很穷，保姆很穷。。

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their livingThe city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple treeThe city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义"

It worked 真的有效！

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it So Tom went to his doctor The doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work

"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday"

Tom早上老起不来，所以上班总是迟到。他的老板非常生气，警告他如果他不能有所改善的话就炒他的鱿鱼。于是，Tom去看医生，医生给了他一颗药丸并告诉他要在睡觉前服下这颗药。Tom照医生的话做了，睡得非常之好，事实上，他在早上闹钟响之前就起来了。Tom从容不迫地吃完早餐，然后兴高采烈地开车上班去了。

“老板”，Tom说，“那药真管用，我的睡眠好极了！”

“是够管用的，”老板说，“问题是，昨天你人哪去了”？

Want a Day Off 想请一天假

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff" "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies " I can't give you the day off" "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，” Smith说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。

Keys to Success 成功的关键

One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out no matter what will happen This is called 'keeping one's words'

"What is cleverness " asked his son

"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered

一天，父亲教育儿子说：“一个人成功的关键就是严守诺言和足够聪明。一旦你给了别人承诺，无论发生什么事，你都得实现它，这个就叫‘守诺言’。”

儿子问：“那么什么是聪明呢？”

父亲回答：“聪明就是任何时候都别做这样的承诺。”

Good Intentions

One day a boy came to his teacher and said: “Teacher, my father wants to know if you like roast pig” “I certainly do, ”said the teacher, “and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me” Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig Finally the teacher said to the boy: “I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig” “Yes,” said the boy, “he did intend to, but the pig got well”

良好的心愿

一天有个男孩去对他老师说：“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。” “当然。”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。” 好几天过去了，再没提起烤猪肉的事儿。 最后老师对男孩说：“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。” “是啊，”孩子说，“他是这么想的，可后来猪又没病了。”

英语笑话（一）

老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”

小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet

老师说：Go ahead

小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet

老师说：Go ahead

小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去

小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！

英语笑话（二）

某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！

英语笑话（三）

江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful" 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。

翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where Where" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere"

翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see"

英语笑话（四）

某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry

老外应道：I am sorry too

某人听后又道：I am sorry three

老外不解，问：What are you sorry for

某人无奈，道：I am sorry five

英语笑话（五）

一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOYOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”

日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

英语笑话（六）

英语老师问一个学生，“How are you是什么意思”

学生想how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你？”

老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you 是什么意思？”

这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你。”

英语笑话（七）

某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。

该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。

签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female“

该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male“

男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female”

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home

老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window

一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that!

老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了

Boy: Me! I’m going home now

男孩：我!我现在要回家了。

2、What dog can jump higher than a building

什么狗比大楼跳的还高

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。

3、What has a head, a tail, and no body

什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体

A coin!

硬币。

4、What has one eye but cannot see

什么有一只眼睛，却看不见

A needle

针。

5、Wife: "How would you describe me"

妻子：你会怎么形容我呢

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK"

丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK

Wife: "What does that mean"

妻子：那是什么意思

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot"

丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK"

妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

丈夫：开个玩笑!

6、Boy: Is this seat empty

男孩：这个座位是空的么？

Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

7、My little dog can't read

我的狗不识字 

Mrs Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

Mrs Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

8、My Wife Will Exchange Them

反正我太太明天会来换的

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves

一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。

″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson

“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。

″Makes no difference ″replied customer

“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。

″What color﹖″ asked the clerk

“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。

″Any″ he responded

“什么颜色都成。”他回答。

″Size﹖″

“号码呢？”

″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them″

“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

这个版本的是一个 医生 律师 男孩 和神父

人物有差 但大概说的是那个意思了

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world I deserve to live" He also grabbed a parachute and jumped

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life You are young and have your whole life ahead of you Take the last parachute and live in peace"

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack"