貌似这个工程有点大，楼主可以看美剧的时候下载字幕，这样会好点。结尾的那个偶就不发了，就发开头的吧。
The ratio is always the same
1 to 1618 over and over and over again
the patterns-mathematical in design and
hidden in plain sight
just have to know where to look
things most people see as chaos
actually follow subtle law of behavior
Galaxies, plants, seashells, the patterns never lie
but only some of us can see how the pieces fit together
6,919,377,000 of us live on this tiny planet
this is the story of some of those people
there's an ancient Chinese myth about the Red Thread of Fate
It says that gods have tied a red thread around everyone of their ankles,
and attached it to all the people whose lives we're destined to touch
This thread may stretch or tangle, but it'll never break
Its all predetermined by mathematical probability,
and it's my job to keep track of those numbers,
to make the connections for those who need to find each other,
the ones whose lives need to touch
I was born 4 160 days ago on October 26 2000
I've been alive for eleven years, four months, 21days and 14 hours,
And in all that time
I've never said a single word
写作经典句型及有用的连接词（保你作文得高分） Many people insist that 很多人坚持认为 With the development of science and technology, more and more people believe that 随着科技的发展,越来越多的人认为 A lot of people seem to think that 很多人似乎认为 引出不同观点: People's views on vary from person to person Some hold that However, others believe that 人们对的观点因人而异有些人认为然而其他人却认为．．． People may have different opinions on 人们对可能会有不同的见解 Attitudes towards (drugs) vary from person to person 人们对待吸毒的态度因人而异 There are different opinions among people as to 关于 人们的观点大不相同 Different people hold different attitudes toward (failure) 对(失败)人们的态度各不相同 结尾部分 Taking all these factors into consideration, we naturally come to the conclusion that 把所有这些因素加以考虑,我们自然会得出结论 Taking into account all these factors, we may reasonably come to the conclusion that 考虑所有这些因素,我们可能会得出合理的结论 Hence/Therefore, we'd better come to the conclusion that 因此,我们最好得出这样的结论 There is no doubt that (job-hopping) has its drawbacks as well as merits 毫无疑问,跳槽有优点也有缺点 All in all, we cannot live without But at the same time we must try to find out new ways to cope with the problems that would arise 总之,我们没有是无法生活的但同时,我们必须寻求新的解决办法来对付可能出现的新问题 提出建议: It is high time that we put an end to the (trend) 该是我们停止这一趋势的时候了 It is time to take the advice of and to put special emphasis on the improvement of 该是采纳的建议,并对的进展给予特殊重视的时候了 There is no doubt that enough concern must be paid to the problem of 毫无疑问,对问题应予以足够的重视 Obviously, If we want to do something , it is essential that 显然,如果我们想做某事,很重要的是 Only in this way can we 只有这样,我们才能 It must be realized that 我们必须意识到 预示后果: Obviously, if we don't control the problem, the chances are that will lead us in danger 很明显,如果我们不能控制这一问题,很有可能我们会陷入危险 No doubt, unless we take effective measures, it is very likely that 毫无疑问,除非我们采取有效措施,很可能会 It is urgent that immediate measures should be taken to stop the situation 很紧迫的是,应立即采取措施阻止这一事态的发展 论证部分 From my point of view, it is more reasonable to support the first opinion rather than the second 在我看来,支持第一种观点比支持第二种观点更有道理 I cannot entirely agree with the idea that 我无法完全同意这一观点 Personally, I am standing on the side of 就个人而言,我站在的一边 I sincerely believe that 我真诚地相信 In my opinion, it is more advisable to do than to do 在我个人看来,做比做更明智 Finally, to speak frankly, there is also a more practical reason why 坦诚地说，最后，还有一个较为实际的原因，。 给出原因: This phenomenon exists for a number of reasons First, Second, Third, 这一现象的存在是有许多原因的首先, 第二, 第三, Why did For one thing For another Perhaps the primary reason is 为什么会 一个原因是 令一个原因是或许其主要原因是 I quite agree with the statement that the reasons are chiefly as follows 我十分赞同这一论述,即,其主要原因如下: 列出解决办法: Here are some suggestions for handling 这是如何处理某事的一些建议 The best way to solve the troubles is 解决这些麻烦的最好办法是 People have figured out many ways to solve this problem 人们已找出许多办法来解决这个问题 批判错误观点和做法: As far as something is concerned, 就某事而言, It was obvious that 很显然, It may be true that, but it doesn't mean that 可能是对的,但这并不意味着 It is natural to believe that , but we shouldn't ignore that 认为是很自然的,但我们不应忽视 There is no evidence to suggest that 没有证据表明
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are two cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman"
"She is the one who sells the candy"
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被宠坏的） His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him He hardly left her side And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door
Was school all right she asked, Did you get along all right did you cry
Cry John asked No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？
哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。
my little dog can't read
Mrs Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
Don't underestimate yourself 不要低估自己
Don't refuse to listen 不要不听劝言
Don't bottle things up不要压制事情
Don't expect life to be fair不要期望生活会公平
Don't stick your head in the sand 不要逃避现实
Don't beat your head against a brick wall 不要徒劳无功
Don't think the grass is greener on the other side不要以为得不到的总是看起来更诱人一些，总是比已经拥有的好
爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么这里我收集整理了好些搞笑的英语笑话段子集锦，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑血哦!
英语笑话段子1
An Exact Number 准确数字
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur(恐龙) bones lying about
How old are these bones the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide
Exactly one hundred million and three years old
How can you be so sure inquired the tourist
Well, replied the guide, a geologist(地质学家) came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago
一位游客在新墨西哥游览，他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。
这些化石有多长的'历史游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人，他是作向导的。
整整十亿零三年了。
你怎么这么肯定游客问道。
哦，向导回答道，一个地质学家来过这儿，他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。
英语笑话段子2
Do You Know My Work 你知道我是干嘛的吗
One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire
Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money People don't think of money when they're afraid When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it So I took all the bills that I could find No one will be poorer because I took them
You don't know my work, said the other
What is your work
I'm a policeman
Oh! cried the first man He thought quickly and said, and do you know my work No, said the policeman
I'm a writer I'm always telling stories about things that never happened
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
在我出来之前，其中一个说，我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬，所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了，没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。
你不知道我是干什么的，另一个说。
你是干什么的
我是警察。
噢!第一个人喊了一声，他灵机一动，说：那你知道我是干什么的不知道。警察说。
我是个作家，我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。
英语笑话段子3
The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisherApparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift We look forward to using it soon
漂亮的结婚礼物
我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”
英语笑话段子4
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road A police car pulled them over
"Why on earth were you driving so fast" the policeman yelled
"Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"
赶紧到达那里
哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。
“你们为什么开那么快”警官喊道。
“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”
;Every mountain has a peak Every valley has its low point Life has its ups
and downs, its peaks and its valleys No one is up all the time, nor are
they down all the time Problems do end They are all resolved in time
每一座山都有巅峰，每一个峡谷都有谷底。人生也有跌宕起伏，有高潮有低谷。没有人有
人一生都平步青云，也没有人有人一生都时乖命蹇。难题总有了结的一天。随着时间的推
移，一切难题都会迎刃而解。
英语幽默笑话（精选15篇）
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我为你整理的几则英语幽默精彩段子，让你笑到停不下来!!!
英语幽默笑话 篇1
一、我是单身汉
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurtA beautiful young nurse asked him to fill formsJack finished them and gave them back"Anything else" The nurse asked"Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor"
杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的"护士问"有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉"
二、死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭
Wife:You seeAccording to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho
Husband:It's okeyTo my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals
妻子：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的
丈夫：那有什么据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的
三、位置上的冰激凌
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine"
"YoursCan you prove it"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it"
"请原谅,你占了我的位置"
"你的位置你能征明这点吗"
"能,我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌"
四、别无选择
One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice"
一天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗"
亚当无可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗"
五 、 两个男孩
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room
The teacher says,"Why are you arguing"
One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie"
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was"
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher
当老师走进教室时,两个男孩在争论
老师是说：你们在争论什么
一个男孩回答：‘我们捡到一张10块,我们决定把它给一个说最大的谎的人’
‘你们应该觉得羞耻’老师说,‘当我像你们那么大的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道’
两个男孩把钱给了那个老师
六、两只鸟
Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrowNow who can tell us which is which
Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer
Teacher:Please tell us
Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow
老师：这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗
学生：我指不出,但我知道答案
老师：请说说看
学生：燕子旁边的`就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子
七、鱼网
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings" replied the little girl
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗," 老师发问道
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了" 小女孩回答道
八、他赢了
Tommy:How is your little brother,JohnnyJohnny:He is ill in bedHe hurt himself
Tommy:That's too badHow did that happen
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won
汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗
约翰尼：他害病卧床了他受了伤
汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿
约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了
选我吧
英语幽默笑话 篇2心不在焉的老师
An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professorHow are you “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with meI've been limping for the last half hour”
有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”
英语幽默笑话 篇3谁的儿子最伟大
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'" The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'"
"My son is a cardinal" continued the next one "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'
" The fourth mother thought for a moment "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"
四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”
第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。” “我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”
第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝’!”
英语幽默笑话 篇4为什么六怕七呢
Q: Why was six scared of seven
A: Because seven "ate" nine
问题：为什么六怕七呢
回答：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!
(笑点：本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight用ate(吃)替换掉了。)
英语幽默笑话 篇6用“beans(豆子)”造句
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence "My father grows beans," said one girl "My mother cooks beans," said a boy A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans"
一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。另外一个同学说“我妈妈炒豆子”。第三名学生说“我们是人类”。
(笑点：老师让用的单词是beans，豆子的意思，结果，第三个学生将beings 和 beans 搞混了，因为发音相同。)
英语幽默笑话 篇7两块蛋糕
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
英语幽默笑话 篇8一分一块钱 A dollar per point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point"
The next class the professor handed the tests back out This student got back his test and $64 change
一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。
考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”
第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。
英语幽默笑话 篇9Eating out
外出就餐
When the bill arrives ,Mark, Chris ,Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,even though it's only for $3250 None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back When the women get their bill , out come the pocket calculators
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块50没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。
英语幽默笑话 篇10卷烟厂都失火
Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day‘I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday ’‘Don't worry ,dear All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later ’He said with a smile
玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟，一天她对丈夫抱怨说：“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。”“不用担心，亲爱的，所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。”他笑着说。
英语幽默笑话 篇11成年人的抉择
The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a have tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for oneHe argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions Sure enough,a few days after his 18th birthday,he come home with a tattoo Although l was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculin', he had chosen There, on his shoulder,was a two inch image of Mickey Mouse
我儿子十八岁前的那一年，常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这么做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了，并说他应该能够做出成年人的抉择了。果然，十八岁生日的几天后，他文了身，回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴，但出于好奇，我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。
英语幽默笑话 篇12和上帝对话
He says: "God,what is a million dollars to you"and God says: "A penny,then the man says: "God,what is a million years to you”and God says: ¨a second", then the man says: “God,can I have a penny "and God says:"In a second"
他问：“主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少”上帝回答：¨一便士。” 男子又问：“那一百万年呢，”上帝说：“一秒钟。”最后男子请求道：”上帝，我能得到一便士吗“上帝回答：“过一秒钟。”
英语幽默笑话 篇13可以借用一下吗
Are you using your mower this afternoon
今天下午你准备用割草机吗
Mr Johnson:Are you using your mower this afternoon
约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗
Mr SmithYes
史密斯先生：是的。
Mr Johnson: Fine Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it
约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗
英语幽默笑话 篇14妈妈不见了
A little girl was lost, so she went up to a policeman and said, "l've lost my moml" The cop said,"What's she like" The little girl replied,"Shopping and gossiping!”
有一个小女孩走丢了，于是她走到一个警察跟前说：“我妈妈不见了!”这个警察说：“她什么样子”小女孩回答：“买东西和说闲话!”
英语幽默笑话 篇15Get the kid
A bit of advice for those about to retire lf you are only 65,never move to ansrUrement community Everybody else is in their 71s, 80s,or 90s So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded,they yell,"Get the kid
这里想对将要退休的人提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里的人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们会喊，“让小的干吧。
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