英语小笑话带翻译【关于初一英语小笑话带翻译】

　　民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样，是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中，以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。我分享关于初一英语小笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!

　　关于初一英语小笑话带翻译：Get Ready!

A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses Kicked out of school Prepare Pop" Two days later he received aresponse: "Pop prepared Prepare yourself"

校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈-我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。” 两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”

　关于初一英语小笑话带翻译：基本原则

One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau wasknown of his droll sense of humor Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at yourwatches during class I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make surethey're still running"

位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”

　关于初一英语小笑话带翻译：A Life for a Life

以“命”抵命

The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty In order toearn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad beensold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth As a result of his lack of food hebecame very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, hegot well again

英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚几个钱，他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本，萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术，他才又恢复了健康。

After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn'tanymoney and couldn't pay it The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again Butstill no money came Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money Inthe endhe came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you oweyour life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you”

过了一两个星期之后，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后，他又送来帐单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说：“你明白，你是欠我一条命的，我希望你有所报答。”

“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungratefulfor your work I will givemy life to you”

“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答，我将把我的命给你。”

With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage

说着这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。

1 英语笑话

英语笑话 急！求英语笑话带翻译的,三到五分钟,两个人对话的,初二水平,

1、周而复始老王在树下休息，老李走过来对他说：“嗨，为什么不去上山砍柴？” 老王说：“砍柴干什么？” 老李说：“好卖钱啊卖到钱就可以买驴，再沿家挨户卖柴挣了钱就再 买卡车，然后买木厂卖木 器，再买更多的卡车，那样就可以发大财了” 老王问：“发了财干什么？” 老李答：“发了财就可 以逍遥自在地享清福嘛” 老王说：“那你以为我现在在干什么？”1,round and roundLao wang rested under the tree,Lao li came up and said,"hey,why not go up the hill cutting wood" Pharaoh said:"cut wood stem what" Lao li said:"good money!Sold into money can buy a donkey,then along home door-to-door selling woodZheng money will buy trucks,and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware,buy more trucks,so that you can be really rich" The old king:"fortune"Lao li answer:"fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well" Pharaoh said,"that you think I doing now"2、甲鱼风波甲鱼又叫团鱼或鳖，俗称王八味鲜美，价昂贵“吃的不买，买的不吃”，实乃高级礼品，公关丑 星某乡派数人携众鳖入城进贡因其重量不同，又须按“职”分配，为免差错计，故将官 号写于纸上，贴于鳖背……至机关干部住宅楼前，天已晚不料竹篓倾覆，众甲鱼乘暮色争相逃命，乡人一片 惊呼：“赵局长”跑啦！——那个块头最大的快抓住“钱处长”——小心它咬手那墙角里黑乎乎的，莫非是“孙科长”？“李秘书”个头小，爬得快，怕是找不到了2,turtle stormTurtle and call TuanYu or turtle,monly known as the tortoiseTaste delicious,the price is expensive"Eat not to buy,buy the do not eat",solid senior ts,pr ugly starsMouXiang sent several people join the turtle into town tributeBecause of its different weights,and must according to "responsibility" distribution,in order to avoid mistakes plan,therefore,JiangGuan written in paper,stick at turtle's back。

To government cadres residential against the building,it is lateBehold,all the turtle piggy overthrown by the dusk scramble to flee for life,XiangRen a exclaimed,"zhao chief" run!The bigger the biggest- Catch "money director" - be careful it bites the handThe corner of the mariposa rushed,murphy is "Samson section chief""Secretary li"'s aller,climb quickly,afraid that I can't find it3、迟了在地铁里，一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包，便幽默地说：“老兄，你来晚了！我今天虽然领 了薪水，但我太太下手比你快 多了！”3,lateIn the subway,a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet,and humorously said:"man,you came to night!I today although took salary,but my wife lay more quickly than you!"4、情书小伙子在给女朋友的信中写到：“爱你爱得如此之深，以至愿为你赴汤蹈火星期六如不下雨，我一定来4,love letterGuy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote:"love your love so much,that would like to give you go through hellOn Saturday as it does not rain,I'll e5、无理抱怨两个人一起吃饭，只有两条鱼，一大一小一位先把大 的吃了，另一位勃然大怒”多不合适！”他抱怨说”怎 么了？”另一位问”你吃掉了那条大的，如果我是你就不 会这样做””你会怎 样呢？””我当然是先吃小的”” 那好哇，你抱怨什么，那条小鱼不是还在那里吗！”5 and irrational plainTwo people eat together,only two fish,a great and a allA first big eat,another flew into a rage"Not more suitable!" He plains"How yao" Another asked"You ate that big,if I were you,I would not do so" "How would you like" "Of course I is first eat all" "That good,you plained,the fish is still there!"6、为您保密甲：”这件事我只告诉你一人，请你千万为我保密" 乙：”放心，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密”6,for your confidentialA:"this matter I just tell you one person,you must the secret for me" B:"trust,not only I want secret for you,I will tell everybody to be secret for you"7、擦玻璃父亲走进儿子的房间，夸奖道：干得好，儿子！窗户又干净又明亮，你是用肥皂水擦的吗？儿子：没有，爸爸，我用的是锤子7,wipe glassFather entered the son's room,praise,way:well done,son!The window and clean and bright,you are using soap water wipeSon:no,dad,I am using a sledgehammer8、开学小学开学了，刚满6岁的冬冬不肯到学校上学妈妈向冬冬解释，小朋友满6岁就要去上学，一直到15岁最后冬冬终于在书桌前坐下来，满含热泪地问：等我15岁的时候，您会记得来接我吗？8,openingElementary school begins,just over 6 years old of winter winter will not e to schoolMother to dongdong explanation,children with 6 years old shall go to school,until 15 years oldLast winter winter finally before desk sat down and full of tears to ask:when I was 15,you will remember pick me up。

英语小笑话带翻译15至25字

He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed He hurt himself Tommy: That's too bad How did that happen Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan "Would you recognize him if you saw him again" asked his mother "I'd know him any where," said Ivan "I have his ear in my pocket" 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly "Here are two cents more But why are you so interested in the old woman" "She is the one who sells the candy" 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk" "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate The visitor iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny Where did you find the cheese" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一个老美看到就笑我说， "Do you know what does it mean It means All Day I Dream About Sex我整天都在想著 性， 缩写正好是 Adidas） " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快， 联想力这么丰富时，旁边的 一个老美帮我解围， 他说， 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn， 他们的招牌歌之一就是 ADIDAS, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔！ 下次就换你去取笑老美了 这些够吗？ 求你了给分吧。

英语笑话100篇+翻译

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这里的英语笑话都有译文！

A teacher said to her class:

"Who was the first man"

“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly

"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man" asked the teacher, iling indulgently

"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen"

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand

"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man"

"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him"

有个老师问班上的学生：

“谁是第一个男人？”

“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。

“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。

小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”

这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。

“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”

“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

英语笑话短

1 Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a studentWhen the door finally opened, I felt a passionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun iling at me "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered "Perseverance is a virtue" 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。

一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”

2 Difference"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon" But the graduate students just write it down" 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。

研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”3Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long" 太久 一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。

她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。

每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”4Charge for Bread and Butter Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City When the bill arrived, there was a $150 charge for bread and butter Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal servicesSomeone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for We never ordered any legal services" Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter" The $150 was returned without delay面包和黄油费 几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。

帐单上来时，上面有15美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。

但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。

餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。” 爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”

那15美元立即就寄了回来。5 Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pillsSunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？” 英文谚语大全 cqwlzx/Article/ShowArticleArticleID=275 Each bird loves to hear himself sing 鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。

Each day brings its own bread 天无绝人之路。Each man is the architect of his own fate 命运掌握在自己手中。

Eagles catch no flies 大人物不计较小事情。Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together 鹰单飞，羊群集。

Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。Early sow, early mow 播种早的收获早。

Early start makes easy stages 早开始是成功的保证。Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聪明。

英文短笑话 最简单的 要短的 四年级

There is a family, is very rich One day, his son to go to school, mother asked her son, go out alone in our family was very rich, his son to keep in

Heart The Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to write an article about the family Son: my family is poor My mother is very poor, very poor, dad was very poor, my servant is poor, the gardener is poor, the driver is very poor, very poor。

有一户人家，很有钱。一天，儿子要去上学，妈妈叫 儿子，出去后别说咱们家很有钱，儿子牢记在

心。语文课上，老师叫同学们写一篇关于家庭的作文。 儿子写：我家很穷。我很穷，妈妈很穷，爸爸很穷，我家的仆人很穷，园丁很穷，司机很穷，保姆很穷。。

　　冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。下面是我带来的经典英语课堂笑话，欢迎阅读!

　　经典英语课堂笑话篇一

　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket "What's so special about this coffin" I asked the funeral director He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty"

　在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

经典英语课堂笑话篇二

　Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers "Thank you very much for your help," the note read "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win "

　有一次，我收到一封 感谢信 ，是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张**，都被刮过了，露出了数字。“非常感谢您的帮助，”信上写道，“作为礼物，我给您买了些**----真遗憾，您没中奖。”

经典英语课堂笑话篇三

　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out"

　一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅”

　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit"

　获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”

经典英语课堂笑话篇四

　One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, TimWhat happened Did your father help you"

　一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事你爸爸帮你做了吗"

　"No, sir He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself," said Tim"

　不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

经典英语课堂笑话篇五

　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day

　老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到

　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow

经典英语课堂笑话篇六

　The Preacher Buys a Parrot

　传教士买鹦鹉

　A preacher is buying a parrot

　一个传教士在买鹦鹉。

　"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear" asked the preacher

　“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗”传教士问。

　"Oh absolutely He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him

　“噢，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主向他保证。

　"Do you see those strings on his legs When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm"

　“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。”

　"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings"

　“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢”

　"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot

　“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

经典英语课堂笑话篇七

　Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home My husband was in all morning He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel "Oh, good," she gushed "We've been waiting for this for ages" "What is it" I asked "My husband's new hearing aid"

　我在邮局上班，对于顾客们的各种情绪早已习以为常了。所以，有一天当一个生气的顾客气冲冲地来到我的工作台时，我还是非常平静地问她，“有什么问题吗”“我早上上街了，”女顾客说，“我回到家的时候，我看到一个卡片，卡片说邮递员要给我们家送包裹，但没人在家。可是我的丈夫整个早上都在家啊。他说他什么都没听到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹给了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顾客喜形于色。“我们等这东西都等多少年了!”“是什么好东西”我问。“我丈夫的新助听器”。

英语课堂上的幽默笑话

　笑话指引人发笑的小故事。我整理的英语课堂上的幽默笑话相关内容，希望大家喜欢!

英语课堂上的幽默笑话 篇1

　One

　小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet

　老师说：Go ahead

　小明就坐了下来。

　过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet

　老师说：Go ahead

　小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗怎么不去

　小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!

　Two

　某日，小明学习了how to spell it这一句型。回家后,妈妈看见他手上的玩具表，问道：

　妈妈：What’s on your hand

　小明：Watch

　妈妈：How to spell that

　小明：T-H-A-T~

　Three

　某日，老师教小涛，英语中，姓氏可以放在名字后面。小明放学后碰到一个外国人，于是他勇敢地上去与外国人对话。

　小明：How are you My name is HongTao Liu

　外国人：Oh, my god! 我还是方片七呢!

　Fou r

　一日，小明心情有很好，于是他夸赞英语老师漂亮。

　小明：Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful

　老师听后心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。

　小明心想：老师的意思就是“Where Where"，天哪，还有这样的人，非要追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：

　"Everywhere, everywhere"

　老师：……

　Five

　小明刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry

　老外应道：I am sorry too

　小明听后又道：I am sorry three

　老外不解，问：What are you sorry for

　小明无奈，道：I am sorry five

　Six

　一日，小明上课打磕睡，于是英语老师向小明提问。

　老师：小明，How are you是什么意思

　小明心想：how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你”

　老师很生气，又问：“那How old are you 是什么意思”

　小明心想：old是老的，于是回答怎么老是你”

英语课堂上的幽默笑话 篇2

　心不在焉的老师

　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professorHow are you “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with meI've been limping for the last half hour”

　有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”

英语课堂上的幽默笑话 篇3

　谁的儿子最伟大

　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'" The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'"

　"My son is a cardinal" continued the next one "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'

　" The fourth mother thought for a moment "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

　四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”

　第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。” “我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

　第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝’!”

英语课堂上的幽默笑话 篇4

　为什么六怕七呢

　Q: Why was six scared of seven

　A: Because seven "ate" nine

　问题：为什么六怕七呢

　回答：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!

　(笑点：本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight用ate(吃)替换掉了。)

　用“beans(豆子)”造句

　A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence "My father grows beans," said one girl "My mother cooks beans," said a boy A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans"

　一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。另外一个同学说“我妈妈炒豆子”。第三名学生说“我们是人类”。

　(笑点：老师让用的单词是beans，豆子的意思，结果，第三个学生将beings 和 beans 搞混了，因为发音相同。)

　两块蛋糕

　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please

　Mom: Certainly take this piece and cut it two!

　汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗

　妈妈：当然可以，拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

;

望采纳！！谢谢！！！

哥们追班花，一番苦心后终于有了点进展！就在这时候突然杀出了一个强劲的情敌，对方一看就是典型的高富帅！哥们一脸苦B向我求助。这天在食堂看见那妹子跟那高富帅坐在一起很亲密的样子！哥果断走上去看着那男的说了一句:你混蛋，居然背叛我。 装一副伤心的样子跑了！诶，哥们，只能帮这些了

女人跟男人赛跑

一天晚上，男友和我玩赛跑，很快我就被落下了，于是我冲着他大声喊：“抢劫啊，抢劫！”路人纷纷看我们，男友只好放慢了脚步。我一下超过了他，他只好跟着我跑，我一看甩不掉他，又开始喊：“非礼啊，非礼！”他吓得一下就趴在了地上！

好吧！不是说你呢

丈夫和妻子吵了一架， 回家时， 妻子铁青着脸。 丈夫知趣的去逗猫玩。 妻子吼道：“ 你跟那头猪在一起干吗？ ” 丈夫惊奇的说：“ 这是猫， 不是猪。 ” 妻子又一口接过：“ 我跟猫说话， 要你插什么嘴？

小日本子

日本要花166亿人民币买钓鱼岛，钓鱼岛6344平方公里，就等于26元每平方米， 而日本377,835平方公里，照这个价格日本只要98866亿人民币就可以买下，中国人民可以每人9元捐款助我国买下日本。——

人才

初中英语不好，老师就给我换了个英语好的女同桌。

　　一日自习，看单词看到“husband”有点印象又不确切，

　　就拿单词问同桌：“老婆？”

　　“不是，老公。”我总觉得是老婆的意思，

　　就和她犟上了：“老婆！”

　　她也不甘示弱：“老公！”

　　“老婆！”

　　“老公！”声音越大。

　　喊了2分钟，发现教室忽然很安静。